Perfect Imperfection
by cigarettelies
Summary: Naomily fic. Emily being sneaky, Naomi in denial. Nothing from skins has happened and there is no past history between them asides from a secret attraction. Development all the way through their dramatic relationship! All reviews greatly welcomed!:
1. Chapter 1  The start or the end?

EMILYS POV

It's impossible to forget something you care so much about. Whether it's a song a colour, a poem or a smell, there will always be something to remind us of those we love. That's why I believe the saying "those that leave us are never truly gone", due to the fact our memories refuse to allow us to forget.

This is how I feel anyway, about a certain girl at my college. She isn't gone, or dead, just forbidden. Whenever I see her along the corridors, with her blonde hair, amazing dress sense and confident walk, I think to myself "she's just a girl, that's all, just one human being." But by the time she's gone and I see other blondes, other people with a relatively similar dress sense, they won't do, it's just her I just want to see all over again. Not that she notices me or wants anything to do with me at all; I'm no different to anyone else in this dump. If anyone was to stand out, it would be my twin sister Katie of course. Confident, loud, always wanting to be the centre of attention, she is completely different to me. I don't have any problem with myself though, as everyone seems to think. "Be like Katie, bet you wish you were!" are the comments I receive frequently. No thanks, I think, just because Katie wears a push up bra, styles herself in the bare minimum of clothing to get attention, I think I'll pass and be myself.

I'm in my second year of A –Levels, taking English, Photography, and Art. No idea where I want these studies to take me, I don't really care much about them, but just going with the flow. Last year went quickly I suppose, nothing really happened aside from the fact I realised I definitely liked girls. Especially one in particular, not that I got anywhere with that. I don't know what it is that makes me gay, it's definitely as people say though, out of your control. My mum and dad have no idea, whereas Katie has inkling because I just don't seem as interested in boys as she is, and she finds it very hard to understand why. Personally, I just prefer all aspects of girls over boys. With a girl I feel like I can be more open, more myself as their emotions will be similar to mine and we can come to an understanding. Stepping outside I reinforce those thoughts in my head, that I simply cannot settle for second best. I will wait until I'm happy.

Walking to college in the morning is a drag. I play music on my iPod but I just seem to get the songs which remind me of one girl. Naomi. Naomi Campbell. Here I go again, does she ever leave my head? Beautiful, intelligent, and so, so passionate. We haven't spoken since we were about 14 and in high school, and that seems to suit her a great deal, she must view me as some sort of stalker really. Not like me though, I would love to speak to her again, I'd love her to stalk me! There's just never been the right moment, nor even a reason at all to make conversation. At least not on her side. I could have come up with a million excuses or conjured up certain problems which would need her input, but thought better of it seeming as I know she wouldn't like me in that way. Ah, time has passed yet again as I get lost in my thoughts of Naomi. I'm here.

"Oi, Katie babe! Oh.. Shit it ain't her. It's the lesbian one init! Damnit."

I glare and say "Fuck off", turn my back on some guy who Katie has obviously shagged and never got back to and continue through the hallway. Sometimes I wish we looked more different. Sighing, I enter the classroom and make my way through tables and chairs to choose my seat next to my friend from last year, Pandora.

"Hey Emily! How are you? Good summer? I had a fantastic one! Me and Mum played all sorts of games, what did you get up to? I remember when I ended up down a hole and..."

Urgh. I smile politely and confirm that yes I did have a good summer, but think to myself it could have been a lot better. Pandora's words blur into nothing as the door opens and low and behold, of course, dead on 9am, Naomi walks in. Her eyes skim over the people in the class until she finds mine. We hold eye contact, my heart starts quickening its pace as I can't believe how gorgeous her eyes are, how have I never noticed this before? She's actually looking at me, deeply at me, as if she's forgotten everyone else is around. I know I have. I feel confident as I feel her eyes burn into mine, maybe this year things will be different and I can finally tell her how I feel. I smile, just at the moment she breaks the contact and has a look of horror on her face as if she's realised what she was doing. She instead looks at the boy in front of me, Cook. Naomi looks back at me, my stomach fills with butterflies of hope, and then as if on purpose looks at Cook again and winks. Is she spiting me? My heart sinks. Of course, she doesn't want me. What was I thinking? She's as straight as straight can be.

* * *

Lunch time at college is better. I meet up with last year's friends Thomas, JJ and of course Katie is around.

"Babes do ya wanna come back to mine tonight? Ems won't mind, she'll probably doing homework," Katie grins and flutters her eyelashes suggestively at a new boy, Jake who is already seemingly under her charm.

"Erm, yeah, sure. That'll be great" he replies with a smug look on his face.

"Cool, here's my number. You've picked the right Fitch twin." And with a wink, she turned and was gone. Swarmed by an army of first year girls desperate to know her tips. I watched her walk off into the girls loo, presumably to do her makeup. Great, more people who will be Katie's followers. This day just seems to be getting worse and worse.

"Excuse me ?" a smooth, firm and confident voice makes me shiver as I realise I'm being spoken to, for the first time properly in over three years by the blonde of my dreams. I turn around. I'm not in her way, she could walk around me so she must want something in particular, and she wants to speak directly to me.

"Hi.. Sorry." Fuck, my voice actually has almost a kind of tremor in it. And why am I even apologising? I look like an idiot! She laughs, raising her eyebrow and looks at me as if she thinks I'm stupid and I blush.

"Why are you apologising? You freak. Anyway I thought you were Katie, I've been paired with her in a class and needed to give her this. Sorry." And with that she gives me an almost stern look and turns around.

"Wait" I call out.

Naomi stops in her tracks and turns to face me.

"Yes?"

Oh no, what could I possibly have to say? It's as if I hear the distant ticking of my watch as it shows how long we are both stood here in complete silence. Think Emily, think. I glance down to avoid her piercing gaze and look at what she's holding.

"Erm, I could give her the work for you if you like?"

She pauses, looks down at the wad of paper in her hands and nods.

"Okay sure, cheers that'd help me out a lot. "

Naomi walks back over to me and I almost feel sick from nerves as she looks at me again.

"Make sure this gets to her, I'm not doing the entire project myself. Oh, and especially my address, because she's going to have to come over and help me out soon with what we're doing."

I take the sheets of paper she's offering me and look back at her, she looks away, disinterested.

"Don't worry I'll keep you safe." I give a small laugh as if I'm trying to be as confident and cool as she is.

Naomi raises her eyebrow again and I realise with extreme embarrassment what I've said.

"I'll keep this safe I mean. The work. For Katie."

I feel the heat rush to my face and I'm sure I'm redder than the shade of my hair.

"Cheers."

She walks away from me and I look down at the pieces of paper. How easy it is to embarrass myself in front of her fuck sake. A plan comes into my mind as I notice the address on a post-it note Naomi has written down. Katie wouldn't want to work with Naomi, she wouldn't be bothered to, but I sure would.


	2. Chapter 2 Risk

EMILYS POV

I'm home, in my bedroom, well mine and Katie's bedroom, holding the pieces of paper I've been given in my hands. Katie's got Jake round and I can hear them together in the shower room. She doesn't waste any time at all, but at least there's no worry that she'll be out tonight and could cause my plan to go wrong. I'm treasuring the paper almost as if I could lose it any second and all hope would then be gone. As if it's more important than anything now. "23 Otter-ton Lane" is where Naomi seems to live. I wonder to myself if the plan forming in my head would ever work, if I could pull it off or not, whether I could truly do something I've tried to avoid my whole life. It seems quite ridiculous that I would go to such extremes, especially as I hate it the most. Looking like Katie. Pretending to be Katie just to get precious time with someone who I have had feelings for, for so long, who I feel I have a connection with. Just the thought of being in her bedroom alone with her gives me chills. Not that anything would happen, ever. I glance up at my mirror and study myself. I think I have slightly smaller cheeks than Katie but aside from that we do look incredibly similar. All that would be needed is a slutty outfit an increase in makeup and a change of attitude. Not impossible.

Looking down at the pieces of paper in detail, I realise that it's Sociology work. Shit, didn't think of that. I don't take this subject and I know nothing about it really. Going to have to do some research or I'm going to get caught out straight away although, I don't think Katie does much work herself in lessons, so I don't need to be a genius. Naomi's left her number on the same post-it note with her address on it, and without really thinking I pick up my phone and write a text message, without my usual grammar or correctness as that may give the game away.

"hey it's kt, just wondered if it'd be alright 4 me to come round and help out with the work 2night? em gave me the paper and shit xx"

I click send and my heart starts thudding, what if she realises straight away that it wasn't my twin. I realise my eyes are reverting back to my phone after just seconds of sending the text. Obviously Naomi isn't going to have replied this quickly but I can't help it. "Hurry the fuck up" I think to myself. I jump up as Katie walks into our room with just a towel wrapped around her.

"Ems can you like get out of here please? Me and Jake want to you know, have some time alone. Don't we babes."

She turns and Jake makes his appearance also just in a towel. I cringe and stand up, gathering up my paperwork quickly and face Katie, sighing as if this isn't what I want when really, it couldn't have happened at a better time.

"Alright I'll go, but on one condition. Is it alright if I borrow some of your clothes for tonight? I have a date and you're right about what you always say, you have the better taste out of us both." As if.

"Yeah sure Em, grab what you like and get the fuck out of here!"

She wraps her arm around Jake and they both look at me expectantly, waiting for me to leave. I give a fake smile to my sister and reach for a small skirt with a leopard print top of hers, walking to the bathroom to get changed. I know it isn't really, but my stomach is doing somersaults at the thought of this actually being mine and Naomi's first date, even if it is under the wrong identity, and even if she has no idea this is how I feel.

Naomi's POV.

It's strange how well a person can hide their feelings, like an eraser can rub out what someone has written, a smile can almost cover all traces of sadness and worry. If you don't know a person well, you may never really know what they are thinking or what is running through their minds. I do this perfectly, I don't let anybody in because I don't want to be hurt. I'm sarcastic, I may push people away at times and never get to close, anything I do could be interpreted that I'm a bitch, but really I'm just scared. Lonely. Scared of being lonely but lonely being the only thing I know. I don't want to get hurt..

A distant beeping sound from my bag causes me to be distracted by these thoughts, and I look to see I have a message. From an unknown number. Sighing, I hope it isn't another one of the prank texts which I seem to be getting recently, or even worse some dick who is just trying to get me in his bed. I flip my phone open to see thankfully, it's not. It isn't much better though, just Katie Fitch. I can't believe she's got back to me so quickly anyway, thought it would have taken her a lot longer. Reading the text, I'm pleasantly surprised yet slightly confused that she actually is going to do this work with me and I type out a reply:

"Hey, that was quick, you actually eager to work for once? Ill? Ha. Yeah, no problem. Come round for 7, mum's going out. N x"

Flipping my phone shut again I wonder if it's going to be interesting working with Katie. She doesn't seem like the kind of person I would usually hang out with, in fact I don't usually hang out with anyone at all, but I suppose this is for schooling purposes only. I sat with her last year at college in Sociology but we didn't speak much, she was more interested in talking to "the lads" as she liked to call them, probably picking her next victim.

I better tidy my room. The posters on my walls represent each view I feel needs to be clarified to anyone who enters my room: recycling, Feminism, political aspects and "NO" to racism. Most people think I'm shy and have no opinion of anything, whereas the true fact is I do, and I adore anyone who will stand up for what they think is right. Cleaning up my things, I make space for the Sociology work which will be taking place tonight on my desk. Katie knows nothing of the subject really and I wonder if she will give any input at all into what we have to do. It's silly, but I don't mind too much, would just be nice for some company. Me and Katie get on okay I guess, she's easy enough to talk to even if it is about nothing important. Easier than her sister anyway, the conversation at lunch proved that. I remember it and smirk to myself "I'll keeep you safe." What an embarrassing mistake. She went so red, I didn't do much to help though and just stormed off. Oops. Whenever I look at Emily she looks at me in a way I've never been looked at before, as if she's trying to analyse me or is very weary of what I'm going to say. The funny thing is it makes me feel nice, like her eyes are almost seeing through me, to the real me. No, snap out of it Naomi. I've been here before wondering what's so different about her. Nothing is, she's just a girl and she's weird for staring at me in that way. I like guys. Boys. Men. Not her.

"BYE NAOMI I'LL BE BACK ABOUT 11" shouts mum from downstairs, and I hear the door slam behind her. Sighing, I look at the time and it's 6:50, Katie should be here soon.


	3. Chapter 3 Show time

**Author note: This is my first attempt at writing so apologies for mistakes etc. Reviews are welcome :) Will be going probably switching from Emily's to Naomi's POV occasionally, but mainly focusing on Emily. Let me know if you have any suggestions. Introducing the character of "Scott" in this chapter, he has no relevance to "Skins" as we know it, just wanted to add him in for something different. Criticisms welcome too! B.**

Dressing like Katie is surprisingly easy as I don't actually have to wear very much. I check my phone constantly, Naomi never replied to my last text of "okay babe, cya soon xx", but I guess there wasn't much to say. I wonder if I should just turn my phone off instead, but then the thought of actually missing a message from her was too risky. I apply my makeup completely over the top, and darken my eyes in the hope that Naomi won't be able to tell the difference. In the background I can hear my lovely sister having her "alone time" and for once I am thankful she is how she is. I realise to myself that I haven't actually thought this through very well, Naomi could quite easily speak to Katie about the work they've done at college and then everything would go wrong, but I know Katie doesn't hang out with her very much anyway.

"Bye Katie, I'll be back later. Got my phone if you need me" I shout. Which is obviously never, nowadays. Of course I get no reply.

I'm scared but excited. The butterflies forming in my stomach are uncontrollable, it's like an entire family of them, multiplying by thousands, millions as I think of what I'm doing. What if Naomi realises straight away? Then what do I do? I'd look like an even bigger idiot than I did at lunch today. Oh well, I just can't help myself when it comes to her. I think I'd do anything just for one minute with her – it's that bad. Walking along the road with ridiculously high heels on, a skirt so short I may not even be wearing it, I see my friend Scott on his driveway, cleaning his car and getting so flustered with himself the hose ends up spraying him in his face. I can't help but laugh at this and he looks up at me glaring.

"Shut up Katie, you bitch. Where are your clothes?"

I grin, if my best friend can't tell it's me than surely Naomi, a girl who has never showed any interest in me at all will have no idea whatsoever. That's what I hope, anyway.

"Scott come here" I shout, and watch with amusement as he walks over to me, still angry and still completely oblivious as to who I am.

"It's me, Emily. Not Katie."

I watch his expression change from anger to looking utterly confused as he studies my face and looks me up and down, I can see he still isn't sure so I decide to prove it in the easiest way possible.

"I like girls; you're the only one who knows how much. I've told you about what I do, when I do it, who I like, what I like, what I don't like. I like the thought of being in bed and havi-

"Woah it is you, what are you doing dressed like that for Christ sake?" Scott cuts me off. I know how much he hates Katie, she's never really understood him like I have, ever since we were younger.

I giggle and give him a hug, he must surely feel me shaking from nerves and I look at him, unsure or not whether to say anything as I don't want him to think I'm mad. Fuck it, he knows everything about me anyway and I'm sure he won't judge.

"I have a plan, but I'm late for it right now, I'll let you know later. Text me or something okay? If you see Katie don't let her go anyway near town or anywhere near erm..." I can't remember the address which stuns me as I read it back to myself earlier so many times. Rummaging through one of Katie's pink bags, I find the post-it note crumpled up and show him.

"Right I don't know what the hell you're doing you crazy lady, but.. Sure, be careful Emily."

I smile and turn and continue, quickly checking the time on my phone. Shit. It's 7;14 and I'm late. I also have a message. It's Naomi. Probably telling me not to come or something, I sigh.

"Katie where are you? Would it be easier if I came to yours? ... Because that isn't gonna happen, so hurry up."

Oh dear. I quickly text back that it's fine and I'm almost there. As I hit send I see the road sign which states Otter-ton Lane and my stomach flips, I feel my legs start to go a bit weak with worry of what I'm about to do. Looking at the numbers on the houses, 17,19,21... and finally, reaching number 23, I almost want to turn back. I tread carefully up to the door and ring the doorbell by the side of the blue front door, checking my reflection slightly in the glass and hoping, praying that I look like the biggest slag on the planet. I almost wish she wasn't in, even though I know for sure that she is. I see the shadow of a person coming closer to the door and I gulp, preparing myself for the worst as the door opens, although I know when it does I will be faced with the best..

"Katie, at last. Thought you were never going to come." Naomi smirks at me and puts her hand on her hip.

I look up and wow, she looks even more beautiful than I remembered. I take in her features all over again and notice than she's changed her outfit since earlier. I'm sure it's unhealthy to be this obsessed with someone. I try to smile how Katie does, with utter confidence and charm but I'm sure I look like a complete fool.

"Hi.. I mean, Hey! Sorry I got caught up I bumped into Sc- I mean Danno on the way here and we got chattin'. You know. He's a... babe." I sound like I have forgotten how to talk and I'm pretty sure Katie is not this illiterate, nor does she stutter.

Naomi looks at me closely, she is studying me I'm sure, looking at all the details because it must be obvious. She must know, she has to know it's me. Of course she does. I see something in her eyes which is as if she does know, and I'm ready to walk away ashamed, so it surprises me when I hear her softly say:

"No problem, come on in and let's get started."


	4. Chapter 4 Working

**Quick recap /Author note: Emily is dressed up and pretending to be Katie as she goes to Naomi's house to do group work. Reviews always welcome! Thanks for those so far, B.**

EMILYS POV.

"No problem, come on in and let's get started."

"Thanks" I reply. Am I being too nice for how Katie really is? For the amount of time and years I have spent with my twin, I am so unsure of how to act! This is crazy. I step into Naomi's house and instantly take in the scent. It's sweet like strawberries but with a slight hint of smoke around too. It is quite nice and it must be her, I know she smokes. I always used to watch her alone smoking outside in between lessons, wondering if it would be too obvious to make up an excuse of "can I borrow your lighter please?" or something similar. We walk silently up the creaking stairs and I follow behind her along a narrow corridor, which I assume is leading to her bedroom. My palms start to sweat as I notice how close we actually are together, and I'm so distracted by my thoughts that I almost collide into her when she stops abruptly outside her door. She laughs sarcastically.

"Watch it, are you blind? Oh and sorry my room is a bit messy, I did try to clean up but you know, it's only you so hey."

I wouldn't care if your room was a tip Naomi, I think to myself. She opens the door and we walk through, I take in everything all at once. I've always wondered what her room would look like. There is a small desk with drawers to the right in which I can see all the work we have to get through tonight, posters on every yellow painted wall, expressing what she believes in, I smile at this. I notice her wardrobe with stickers and certificates spread down it; obviously evidence of her talent and work. I wonder if she realises how clever she really is. Clothes are folded neatly over a small chair, and I let my eyes wander over to the main focal point of her room. Her bed. It's a double bed and looks incredibly comfortable, with red sheets, many cream pillows and several blankets for when it's cold. I picture things for a minute that I shouldn't and then blink furiously, remembering that I'm not alone.

"Katie? Hello? Earth to Katie Bitch? I mean Fitch.."

I snap out of my day dream and look at her feeling myself blushing. Oh no. It's lucky that I'm used to responding to my sisters name, the amount of time's we have been confused in the past, otherwise I probably wouldn't have even looked up.

"Sorry I don't know where I was" I mutter. Actually I do, I was in bed with you. In my head.

"It's okay. Shall we get on with it then?" she asks, with a smirk on her face, and I wonder with fear if she recognises the colour of my cheeks from earlier today at lunch.

"Erm yeah, sure, where do you want to start... babe?"

"Well, I was thinking we could write up a question each and then decide how we're going to present it or something. I have all the materials here. What do you think?"

I question whether to come up with anything useful as I don't know how much Katie actually knows about presentation, asides from how she presents herself. It would be easier if it was a subject I actually knew, then I could limit the knowledge I gave but at least would have something to say. How annoying. I feel that Katie wouldn't be too bothered about anything really. "Erm whatever, that sounds good", I say bluntly. Naomi looks at me then smiles and shoves a load of paper in my hands and looks at them, raising her eyebrow as she does so.

"How strange. You and Emily really are alike; you're both wearing the same nail varnish today."

I freeze.

"Anyway", Naomi continues absentmindedly, "we did this last lesson. I've given you the questions I feel you know most about, because, well regardless of what people think about me, I'm nice."

Trying not to let myself look too relieved I nod, making a mental note that if I EVER do this again (and by the amount of times I've felt like I was going to have heart failure tonight, it will be never), I will change my nails. I take the sheets of paper and look down at the question. Simply have no clue whatsoever.

Clearing my throat I think of what I could do. "Naomi can I have a drink please?" I ask. I see her hesitating for a second and then nod, as she mutters something about not having much variety in her house and leaves her room. This is my chance. I quickly move over to her desk and look through several folders with "Sociology" written on, desperately looking for information on my chosen questions. This is so stupid, what am I doing? There is nothing in them. I try her drawers and sort through them all until I reach the bottom one. Amongst all the books, a dark purple coloured book with 'N.C' written on it catches my attention. A diary. Naomi Campbell's diary. I can't help but open it slightly even if I do feel guilty, and flick through to the first page. A content page has been written and I laugh quietly, of course, in a book that nobody is supposed to read, Naomi would have to be organised. Looking at the different subjects in the list of contents, I see it includes "Myself, Mum, Dad, Other family members, Christmas Time, College friends, Cook, Nan, Emily.." _Emily_. I stop at that name. That's me. Naomi has a chapter about ME. What on earth would she have written about me for? My heart starts racing and without hesitating, I flick through the pages desperately, only to my dismay hear the stairs creaking. Shit. I quickly bend down and shove the diary back inside Naomi's bottom drawer, standing up to sit on her bed with my bag next to me and adjusting my "skirt" trying to look as if I've been here relaxed the entire time.

"I thought you'd like some coffee, it's the same we have at college sometimes and I've added your two sugars" Naomi states as she enters the room. Fuck, I HATE coffee. I actually despise it; it makes me feel like throwing up. I know that Katie is pretty much addicted to it though, that and other things, and I take it from her, thanking her, placing it on her desk as I make up the excuse that "I'll drink it when it's cooled down a bit."

We work in silence, Me sat at Naomi's desk, her on her bed. Occasionally Naomi asks me a question but lucky for me, she is just so clever that she doesn't really need my input into anything at all. I on the other hand, have no idea on what to write at all so I'm doodling. Apart from that there's not much conversation at all. None of my subjects help with this and I curse myself wishing I had helped Katie out in the past with Sociology, and then at least maybe I would know something! My phone vibrates in my bag which is next to Naomi on her bed and she looks up at me and then to it.

"I'll get it for you, Katie."

Why does Naomi seem so nice to me? She's always been sarcastic and rude when she thinks I'm Emily. She searches around in Katie's bag until she pulls out my phone, looking confused. I realise she must have seen Katie's actual phone which is different to mine at some point in college, and I freeze yet again, until Naomi throws the phone at me. Luckily with my reflexes, I catch it. It's Katie. I cannot believe out of everyone it has to be the only person I wish it wasn't, as I'm supposed to fucking be her. Thank God Naomi didn't check who it was. Or so I think.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Em it's me, where the fuck are you? It's gone half 10 and I know for a fact you ain't with weirdo Scott because he came round lookin' for you and is still here now waitin', fuck sake! Danno's round too and I need your help to tell him to piss off!"

Fuck. I didn't know time had gone so quickly. Probably due to the fact I wasn't really working, and it didn't feel like a chore of regular homework, being able to look at Naomi every so often in the reflection from her mirror in front of me. She is so beautiful.

"Stop being rude Em, and answer me!" Katie screams down the phone. It'll be a miracle if Naomi didn't hear that.

"I'll be home soon okay? Just got a few things to sort out." I glance in Naomi's direction and see she is looking at me suspiciously, so for added affect and Katie-ness I throw in "Love ya" and hang up.

"Who was that?" Naomi asks, looking at me closely.

I roll my eyes acting annoyed. "Just Emily, she wondered where I was tonight that's all. I have to go soon as well because she needs some backup, or something."

"Oh right, okay. Your sister is a weird one you know. She's always looking at me."

I blush, this time not slightly, but properly full on and I turn back to my work in hope Naomi won't see me. I didn't realise I made things that obvious, I mean I know I looked at her a lot but I didn't think she saw. She must have been looking at me too if she noticed THAT much. Come to think of it, she remembered the colour of my nails too.

With a fake laugh I state "Emily is probably looking at how weird you look, babes" and gather my things. I don't know if Naomi can see how my hands are shaking or how red I have gone but I don't care. I want to leave now. This has gone wrong and I feel that I don't have much time before Naomi is going to question me, it's as if she is watching my every move now waiting for me to slip up. I wish I was here as myself, not as Katie, not doing all this under pretence. There is silence for a while until its Naomi who finally speaks.

"Katie? Speaking of Emily, can I have her number?"

Bugger. I can't give Naomi my real number because I'm using my own pretending to be Katie! I really have not thought this through at all. I look at Naomi and see it she isn't even asking me sarcastically, it's as if she really wants Emily's, well my, number.

"I think you'll have to ask her for it yourself babe" is all I can come back with, even though I'm filling up with disappointment so quickly. "Why do you want it anyway?"

Naomi bites her lip and hesitates as if she doesn't want to tell me, but I look at her until she speaks again and her reply is devastatingly brilliant, yet awful.

"I wanted to see if she felt like doing anything, we haven't spoken in so long and I just wondered that's all. She seems nice and seeing as I'm studying with you I just thought... Oh but never mind, it doesn't matter. I'll see you out Katie."

As I'm walking home I wonder if I have truly messed up everything. I wonder what Naomi really wanted to say but she stopped herself. Even if I were to get close to Naomi one day in the future, I can't even give her my number. At that moment, my phone goes off again and I quickly find it, my heart stopping as I see it's Naomi.

"Tonight was helpful, and you aren't as much of a bitch as I thought you were. You should come round again to help me finish everything tomorrow. Ps, you never drank your coffee, N.x"

There is no going back.

**Let me know what you think and how you think it should develop etc! B.**


	5. Chapter 5 Cracks in the plan

**Author note: Thank you for everyone's reviews so far, really enjoy reading your comments :) I'm enjoying writing this story too but this chapter was quite difficult in deciding how to pan it out and I'm not so sure if it's the best standard. Things are going to get pretty exciting from now on though, so bear with them (: B x**

**Emily's POV.**

By the time I arrive home at around half past eleven, everyone seems to be asleep. I walk into the living room and roll my eyes as I see the remains of empty beer cans, wine bottles and crisp packets, most likely to be from Katie's ex boyfriend Danny. Never really liked him at all and I have absolutely no clue as to why he was round. I'm sure Katie will fill me in later. There's no sign of mum, dad or my sister and I'm sure that my younger brother James is also asleep now. Carefully trying to be quiet as I go upstairs, I enter my bedroom and see Katie sleeping soundly, snoring occasionally in the bed to the left of my room. Phew. At least there will be no interrogation as to where I've been tonight. I catch my reflection in our mirror; I'm dressed as Katie still and look like a complete mess. Windswept from walking all the way home in the cold, my skirt hitched up as far as it will go, and my top, too big for me hanging loosely over my body, I hardly recognise myself. My makeup doesn't look very appealing either, with smudges of eyeliner under my eyes and red lipstick beginning to fade. Must have been all the sweating and worrying and a little bit of crying that caused me to look so wrecked. Katie's shoes are hurting my feet like hell, so I take them off with a sense of relief that this night is over. I don't know if Naomi realises it was me or not, I honestly cannot tell, and now there's nothing I can do anyway. Time will tell. I have gotten myself into such a mess, dug such a hole which is inevitably going to end up in a disaster eventually.

Sighing, I strip down into my underwear and throw on an oversized t-shirt, climbing into bed and curling up into a ball, shutting my eyes to try and end this day as quickly as possible. Sleep doesn't seem to come easy to me though as I find myself analysing every single move of the day and night which has just occurred. Naomi offering me coffee, offering me the questions she thinks "I" will understand the most, getting my phone and sending me a text on how well the night had gone. I thought Naomi was colder than that. Well she is to the real me. To Emily. Not to Katie it apparently seems. I question what I think Naomi is doing right now, whether she's thinking of me too, whether she's asleep, and the thoughts make me long to be with her again. I'm already dreading college tomorrow though, I just hope that Katie won't see Naomi in case last night is mentioned and then I'm bound to be caught out. I'd like to take up her offer of another night of "studying" surely it wouldn't go as bad as this night.

The following morning comes round quicker than expected. I don't remember falling asleep or even feeling the slightest bit tired, but now morning is here. It's absolutely freezing and I just want to stay where I am, in my bed in the warm. I notice Katie already getting dressed and frowning at me as she see's I've woken up.

"Emily you cow, look at my clothes all screwed up on the floor! They cost me like, well mum like, twenty quid for both! Fuck sake, that's the last time you're borrowing anything of mine, bitch." I don't think so Katie, I have another date as you tonight.

"Okay okay. Sorry, just had a rough night you know how it is."

"I'm sure you didn't have as rough night as me, Danny wants to get back with me! But of course I told him where to go. After a quick shag that is," she giggles. Urgh. My sister is nothing like me, how on earth did Naomi not tell the difference? If I wasn't so relieved that I didn't get caught out, I would be quite offended if I'm honest!

We both walk to together to college today, which is unusual as normally one of us is running late and will have to follow on later. The nerves are picking up in my body again as I glance guilty around the corridors, hoping for the first time ever that I _wont_ bump into Naomi. Usually I'm begging for a glimpse but I don't think I can take the humiliation publically. Thankfully, there's no sign yet, and me and Katie continue towards the main corridor of classes.

"What have you got Ems?" Katie asks vaguely before we reach the end of the hallway.

"English." I reply. "What about you?"

"I have Sociology, me and Naomi, you know her from high school, are going to be doing group study work together apparently, so fuckin' boring. I'd rather be in the canteen with the guys and that! Oh well I think she's pretty smart, hopefully she'll do all the work and I can you know, text and stuff" she continues to ramble on.

My stomach drops. No no no. Everything is going to come out if they speak today. Of course Naomi will bring up that in fact they have already started the work last night and Katie will be completely clueless. Katie will link the fact I was out last night as well. Why did they have to have Sociology today of ALL classes. I don't know what to do but this must not happen, I want another night studying with her again..

"Katie do you wanna skip lessons with me today? I don't feel that great. I think I saw Jake there too?" I ask with a hint of anticipation in my voice; it just comes out, I don't know why but when I need to be, I'm an incredibly good liar and I can make excuses to save my own skin. I watch her expression change and she looks confused; I don't think I've ever skipped a lesson of English in my life and she knows this. I keep my face expressionless because I know if I look as if I want something too much, she's going to ask why. We are twins after all, she can still read me.

"Erm okay, but you can buy me a coffee." She smiles, turns round and struts back towards the main building where the canteen is. I breathe a sigh of uttermost relief and follow after her, my heart hammering in my chest at how close that situation was.

Katie is already in the queue as I finally reach the canteen, I notice that there are more people than usual in there at this time and for once I'm pleased; there's more space to hide. That sounds pathetic; I'm, hiding in my own college, in my own canteen, as I've faked my identity to the most amazing person in this place. I'm a mess.

"Ems come on! I'm almost at the front and I have no money on me- so get here!" Katie screeches, snapping me out of my thoughts. I walk over and have to push past several other people in the queue behind Katie to get to her. Paying, we walk over to a table and sit alone. Katie adds two sugars into her coffee and I remember Naomi telling me that's what she liked. She seems to pay great attention to detail. It makes me wonder what kind of things she'll have written in her diary about me, maybe, if tonight goes ahead and I do decide to go, I'll be able to take a look. After around twenty minutes, Katie becomes bored of my company, as always, and decides to just go as she may as well, since she isn't in lessons. She complains to me that Jake is not in here; in fact she's told by one of his friends that he doesn't even have lessons today so I get a lecture as to how I'm blind and am seeing people. Then she's off, stating that she's going to town. I don't mind, Pandora has come and sat with me now so I have some company. We're chatting away about God knows what, Pandora seems to have a habit of rambling on about nothing in particular, and I let my eyes wander around the canteen instead, pretending to appear vaguely interested in what she's saying. A glimpse of blonde hair is all it takes for me to sit up straight and shiver. Naomi Campbell is in the canteen and she's looking right at me. It's as if my whole body freezes and I tense up, trying to breathe steadily but noticing that with every step she takes, my heartbeat seems to have doubled in speed. I quickly glimpse down at my nails, free of nail polish today and make a mental note again to pain them for later on as if they were Katie's.

"Hi Emily. Hi Pandora" Naomi says, with a strange smirk on her face. I find myself stupidly pleased that she said my name first. "Mind if I join you here for a bit? My class is cancelled."

I'm speechless and say nothing, letting Pandora do all the talking which of course, she finds easy.

"Sure no problem, that's great! We can all chat can't we Ems? What have you been up to Naomi? I've just had my first Philosophy lesson back and it's wicked! Are you alright?"

Naomi doesn't reply to this question as she sits down next to Pandora, opposite me. She looks at me and asks Pandora if she'd like a coffee, although her eyes don't leave my guilt stricken face.

"Oh yes please Naomi! I'd love a good coffee. Emily wouldn't though, would you Ems? You hate coffee! Never liked it have you? MAD! Not like Katie, Katie loves coffee. Would never EVER refuse a coffee would she Em?"

Oh god. The coffee I left last night on her desk. It's as if the words "IT WAS ME WITH YOU LAST NIGHT" have been carved onto my forehead, as I look at Naomi's expression and I see her frown a little, her eyes questioning me, questioning her own thoughts until she snaps out of her trance like state, looking stern and composed.

"Oh do you Emily? That _is _mad."

"Yeah.." is all I manage to say. Shit shit shit! Now would be a great time for Pandora to do something outrageous or embarrassing but no, all focus is on me. I feel the heat rush to my face and realise that Naomi isn't stupid, she's going to put two and two together soon enough and then I'm going to be in trouble. I can't think of anything else to do, so even though it probably makes me look even more suspicious I make my excuses and leave the table. Cannot stand it here any longer, I need to think.

I'm sat on a bench near to college, my feet up on the seat and hugging my knees. I wish I could go back and undo this but I've gone to far now. Just minutes ago I received a text from Naomi saying: "Katie, come round at 6 tonight if you like, I'm going into town to get some extra books. N.x" Is she going along with it on purpose to catch me out? Or does she really still have no idea? I just can't work it out. At times like these, everything negative comes into my mind. It's as though just one mishap with Naomi will make me become upset about everything else that is difficult in my life. My parents not knowing I'm gay, my sister overshadowing me as always and in fact I'm now hiding behind her own identity just to have the time and confidence with Naomi. I can't think of anything else to do so I pick up my phone and call the one person I know will always be there for me, no matter how much I screw up.

"Scott it's Emily, I need your advice" I say quietly down the phone.

"What's up Em? Want me to come over to yours?" I hear his voice is concerned and I feel guilty because I don't deserve someone to worry so much over me, I make my own mistakes, constantly.

"No it's okay my parents are in, but can we meet up tomorrow after college or something?" I question. "I've got myself into a bit of a situation, you know what I'm like."

"Of course, just tell me when. I have work in a bit at the supermarket so I'll text you later. Things will be alright." And with that he hangs up.

I look at the time and it's 4pm, I've been sat here in my thoughts for hours. Best get home and get ready to go to Naomi's again. This time, my aim is to see what's in her diary, make my excuses and leave, saying I don't want to work with her anymore. I cannot afford to slip up once and my performance must be just spot on.

**Naomi's POV.**

I'm in town quickly getting some books for my studies before Katie comes over. It's about ten past 5 so I don't have long. Usually I'm so organised, but things haven't been so great recently, I feel as though weird Emily is looking at me strangely and something is going on which involves me. I sigh. Oh well, I guess things will always be complicated with her. Best not to dwell on it, I don't need her. I walk into the shopping centre and spot red hair from a distance. My heart skips a beat and this annoys me as I crane my neck to see who it is. It's only Katie, my heartbeat slows down a little and I laugh, guess she's making the most of our class being cancelled.

"Oi, Katie!" I shout out. She turns her head and looks at me, giving me a small smile of acknowledgement but nothing more. I walk over to her smiling back.

"You still coming over tonight? I've got more information than before?" I ask, showing her my impressive new collection of text books.

She looks up at me confused as if I'm crazy and replies. "What…?"

**Author note: Let me know what you think, suggestions and criticisms welcome always! B.**


	6. Chapter 6 Curtains

**Author note: Enjoy! Thank you so much to all that have reviewed. Really motivates me to keep going and writing the story for you all :) B.**

**Emily's POV**

I look at myself in the reflection of my mirror. I'm dressed in the shortest of red shorts, a thin white vest top, and Katie's black high heels again, which are digging in to the back of my feet, reminding me that this isn't the first time I've gone under my twins disguise. My face is smothered in foundation, eyeliner done to perfection and my lips a pure, blood red colour. Hair up, nails painted black and my eyelashes tamed remarkably. Luckily, Katie still isn't home from town and this suits me; I can pick out and get dressed in her things at ease.

I decide to text Naomi to check that tonight's still going ahead, and within seconds I get a reply. "Ok." That's all it says. Ah well, I suppose she isn't _always _the most chatty of people. Maybe she's having her dinner or something. I say goodbye to my mum, who looks up and smiles at me warmly, despite what I'm wearing. "Bye Katie hon, see you later." I sigh.

Setting off outside, the late autumn air hits me, and I can't understand how Katie can go out like this, with hardly any clothing on and not freeze to death! Perhaps I'll catch a bus tonight. At the bus stop I text Katie quickly. "Hey you, where are you? I've borrowed your clothes but don't worry I won't ruin them. X"

I don't really want to get off at this stop. There's still no reply from Katie so I assume she's at Jakes or some other guys house she met in town. Probably doing what she does best. Shagging. I anxiously wait after ringing the doorbell to Naomi's house and as I see the outline of her perfect figure coming closer I bite my lip nervously. Be calm, be cool, be Katie. The door opens and there she is, stood there looking at me. If looks could kill..?

"Hi. " She says bluntly. "Come on in."

"Thanks", I say barely above a whisper. We walk silently up her stairs again into Naomi's room, my heels clip clopping along the wooden floor, and I feel as though there is a coldness physically coming off of her body. The awkwardness is just swallowing us both, as I decide to perch on the end of her bed and I watch her pick up a thick text book to show me.

"Got this in town."

I look at it. It's called "Sociology for A2 students – All you need to know. 2010 version." Nodding, I state that I'm sure it'll help and it was a good choice. I don't really know what she expects me to say, it's just a book.

"Yep."

She's acting different tonight. Not as warm to me as before. Well to Katie. Maybe she's suspected something. I don't know. I'm sure if she had she wouldn't have confirmed tonight was still going ahead and probably would have rather slapped me instead. It's as if all the thoughts are cramming into my mind, and quickly being processed as possibilities or not. This is how my mind works, jumping to conclusions, I try to reassure myself. I'm interrupted by the sound of her blunt, cold voice again.

"So. Katie." She folds her arms. "How do you feel about answering the question on the Marxist view of the education system tonight? I know you know ALL about that because you got a good grade in that section of the exam last year. What did you get again?"

Shoot. She's testing me. She must be. I look at her gaze and it's as if she is just waiting for me to give the wrong answer. I honestly can't remember Katie's grades. Even though I should; of course hers were overshadowing mine, despite the fact I think I got higher. "_Katie's achieved a great deal this year hasn't she Emily?" _I remember distant relatives saying to me. Yes she did but I was insistent to block it out. How I regret this now. I'm wavering, wasting time, and guess I'll have to take a wild shot at a guess.

"I got a "C", I think.."

"No, I remember now. You got a B! Funny how we forget things so quickly isn't it, Katie?"

I gulp at her sarcastic tone and make excuses of the fact that I don't care much for my education ,that I have a very bad memory anyway. Naomi smirks. She looks at me deeply as if she's seeing into my soul, sensing my anxiety and feeling my guilt until she clears her throat.

"Gonna get you a coffee. Know how much you like it", I hear as she vanishes around the corner of her door. I'm shaking. Physically shaking from head to toe. Naomi must know that it's not Katie and I don't have much time before she's probably going to confront me. I rush to her desk and drawers and delve into her books and files, grasping her purple diary. Shoving it into Katie's bag, I shut the drawer and move back to the bed, my heart hammering in my chest so loudly I can hear it drumming in my ears.

I can hear Naomi's footsteps creeping back up the stairs. She hesitates on the last step but then continues. As she enters the room I see the same cold smirk, and she passes me the coffee.

"Don't worry Katie, I made this before you got here so it's pretty cool by now. You can drink it."

Oh that's just great. I thank her and take a sip. Ugh, it's disgusting. Awful. But I deserve it don't I? I deserve every drop of this. I'm lying to the person who I feel means the most to me. I really like Naomi, more than I've liked anything or anyone, but if this goes wrong then she's going to dislike me more than she ever has. She'll hate me. We begin to work on our questions again continuing from last night, but this time Naomi tells me I can have the bed. She lies beside me, both of us on our stomachs and starts to work. My handwriting is shaking and wobbly. One, I don't know the answers, and two, I can't think straight with her right next to me. I notice she keeps checking her watch every so often.

About an hour goes by and Naomi puts her pen down, so I do too. She looks at me and I look back, our faces incredibly close together and I feel myself forgetting to breathe. She isn't breaking the gaze and it feels as if she doesn't want to. I know I don't want to, but I look down at my work again. I'm Katie. I'm supposed to be fucking _straight_ KATIE.

I jump as the sound of her doorbell breaks the silence. "I'll be back in a minute." She whispers.

She climbs off the bed and leaves me there; I'm in a state of shock and confusion. What the hell is going on? I feel like Naomi really loved looking at me, like properly looking into my eyes. She looks vulnerable, scared almost and it makes me want to hold her. It was so easy and I didn't want to look away really, I could look all day, all night, forever.. Her eyes are the bluest blue there could be, so easy to stare into when the sternness has evaporated. I hear Naomi's voice downstairs, she's talking to someone, and as she returns to the room she looks at me as if I'm the worst thing on this earth. Folding her arms, she glares at me, her eyes actually making me want to look away because it hurts so much. They've changed now, the vulnerable-ness has gone and it's all hard. All the walls are back up. The band inside me starts to beat the drum of my heart, and I would bet a million pounds that Naomi can hear it.

"You don't need to pretend anymore" her voice almost breaks as she says it.

The floorboards creak from outside, and in comes someone we both know well. Myself in particular. The girl I'm supposed to be right now, is here.

**Hope you enjoyed it, feel free to leave any comments or suggestions, or anything you'd like to possibly see happen! Open to all! B.x **


	7. Chapter 7 Unanswered questions

**Author note: Thank you so much for every single review! I read them all and appreciate them all; they really do help inspire me to keep writing this. :) This chapter will be slightly shorter than usual, but I already have the next one 99% done and that should go up at some point tonight too. Decided to do it in Naomi's POV just so you can see what's going on in her head for a change, especially at the moment. (: Enjoy! B.x**

Naomi's POV.

I look at the pale faced ghost like girl in front of me. She's shaking, shivering head to toe, her eyes staring into mine, begging me for forgiveness, pleading with me to understand. But I don't. I wonder whether purposely asking Katie to come round and confront Emily with me was the best idea now, maybe it would have been better if we talked this through ourselves, in private. I guess I just didn't believe it, couldn't comprehend the thought of Emily lying to me in this way, but seeing them both, together in this room, I see it is true and I can tell the difference between them. I reckon I'm one of the few people who really can. Guess that's what you get for being so analytical all the time. All of the colour has faded from Emily's cheeks and I notice that she's picking at the black nail polish, obviously newly applied for tonight's appearance as her twin again. Another lie, another cover up. When I met the real Katie in town earlier today, she thought I was mad, making everything up. Completely bonkers as Pandora would say.

"_Naomi why would I go to your house? Seriously, I think I have better things to do with my time?" She puts her hand on her hip._

"_What...! Katie you came round last night. We did about 3 and a half hours worth of work, together, in my room! Do you have fucking short term memory loss or something?"_

"_I was fucking Jake actually and he'll confirm that if you need it" Katie sarcastically clarifies. "Emily would back me up too, but she was out." We both stare at each other for a few moments and then it clicks. For the both of us. The weird behaviour, the surprisingly soft personality of "Katie", the pleases and thank – you's. The coffee left behind on my desk and the way she was so willing to do work with me, whenever it was suited to me. Katie pipes up that Emily has been wearing her clothes more recently and there is only one possible explanation for this identical girl in my room. Emily. Emily fucking Fitch..._

I arranged with Katie to come round later that night, as she couldn't really believe Emily would have the confidence do such a thing and I couldn't believe that it was real either. I thought Katie was lying or playing a trick on me. The only way to prove to her AND myself would be to have them both there, together.

"What the FUCK Ems? Are you THAT much of a LOSER you have to pretend to be me? What the FUCK." I hear Katie shouting, bringing me back to the present. "I didn't believe her at first", she signals at me. "I thought_ she_ was making it up that one of us had been round here to spite me, or even to hurt you!"

We both turn to look expectantly at Emily for an answer, her eyes are filling with tears and even after she has completely lied to me in such a confusing way, my heart aches seeing her so upset. She looks so vulnerable when I look in her soft, brown eyes, which contrasts with the way she physically appears. Slutty. Dressing like Katie definitely doesn't suit her now that I know it is Emily. Emily's better than that. Emily doesn't need to wear almost nothing to look good... even though she does still look pretty nice I suppose. Wait, no, Emily is a liar. A freak. She doesn't deserve any sympathy, any flattery. Nothing. I freeze up again.

"Please.. just let me explain.." she whispers, looking only directly at me. It is as if Katie isn't in the room when she looks at me like that.

I want to hear, I want to know why she could possibly have done something so outrageous, but the cold-hearted side of me wins. It always does, but it's easier that way; less chance of me getting hurt. I've learnt from the past that once you let someone in and they hurt you, you should never forgive them, never let them know they can get away with it and win you back, otherwise they will continue to treat you that way forever. That's why I'm how I am. I _don't _give second chances.

"No. I think you should leave, now Emily", I see my toneless, blunt voice make her flinch.

"Please.." her voice breaks and it makes me feel guilty. I know she's sorry, I know she obviously never intended on misleading me, this wasn't a joke, wasn't some sort of prank. But I don't know what it was and I don't think I want to. It's too difficult. She's a girl.

"Just go. And you Katie. I don't want to talk to either of you."

A tear rolls down Emily's face and I look away, folding my arms. I'm hurting too but I won't let them know.

"Come on Ems, don't cry." Katie sounds softer seeing her sister so upset and seeing how my blatant rejection of any kind of communication is hurting her so much. "Bye Naomi," she looks at me glaring, as if this is all my fault even though it isn't. For once I haven't done anything on purpose, I wasn't a bitch for no reason and in fact, I was bloody welcoming to the girl I thought was Katie Fitch, I really was. I look away avoiding both of their stares, especially Emily who is still silently trying to communicate her apologies. Katie walks over to her sobbing twin and links arms with her, almost dragging her out of my door and downstairs. I count every single one of the fourteen steps of my staircase creaking, until I hear the backdoor slam and then I'm alone. Again. Always alone, always wondering "_what if?" _and always being too scared to act on how I really feel. I don't bother getting undressed, and slip into bed, cuddling up to my pillow as I shut my eyes tightly. All I can think of is "_why?" _Why would Emily do something like that, lower herself to her appalling sisters standards just to be around me, when she's so lovely as she is? My phone is on the bedside table next to me, and I try to fall asleep, desperately attempting to ignore the thoughts that I in fact, actually have _Emily_ Fitch's number.

**Thank you for reading, any reviews would be great (: I don't know if the length of my chapters are good or bad either? Would you prefer them to be shorter or longer, let me know if you have any sort of preference! Next chapter up very soon, Bx**


	8. Chapter 8 Crashing

**A/N: For those who are worried that I'm giving both characters a hard time, things will get better! Good things _do _come to those who wait. And to those who don't give up. Enjoy(:**

Emily's POV.

Everything is ruined. Everything. You know the feeling you get when something you've been holding onto, waiting for, hoping for, is gone? As if the only thing making you happy, making it bearable to get through each day, has disappeared? As if you were treading on ice so carefully, but it's broken? And you're going under. That's how I feel now. Katie took me home, I don't remember getting there because of the tears flowing down my face and the fact that I didn't really want to leave. After so long of hiding from Naomi throughout my teenage years at school, not speaking to her, I finally get just that little bit closer to getting to know her. On her bed from the look in her eyes, I could imagine myself telling her how I feel, I could imagine us laughing together, sharing things together, but now, I've fucked up. I was led into our house, past mum's questioning gaze as why there seems to be two Katie-like daughters rushing through the front door.

"Leave it mum", Katie gushes. I am so thankful for her sometimes. She does know me and knows when I just don't want to communicate with anybody. I don't want my mum to know something is wrong, if I told her the truth she wouldn't approve and it'd make everything worse. So much of the time I spend at home I have a fake smile, pretending everything is fine when it's not. It's just easier that way. I stumble into our bedroom and Katie shuts the door behind us, checking that James isn't hovering around or attempting to spy like he does frequently.

"You gonna tell me what the hell you've been doing or not?" she asks softly.

I don't know. I don't know what I've been doing. All I know is that I never meant to hurt Naomi, never meant to upset her or make her mad but that's all I saw in her eyes as she asked me to leave. She looked so confused and I just wanted to explain, I still do, but I don't know how. There's no explanation that wouldn't scare her off. I remember that same look and feeling this helpless the day I first ever spoke to her in high school. She looked at me as if I was dirt because I complimented her. Because I'm a girl and she's straight.

"_You look really lovely, Naomi, I love your hair." _

That was all I said. Took me weeks to pluck up the courage to do that at the age of fourteen but what did I get back? A sarcastic, rude comment and the view of her back as she walked away from me, walked off to avoid anymore of me.

I guess Katie deserves to know the truth at least, I have been impersonating her for the past two days and I can assume she's worried about her reputation, or perhaps whether I'd pretended to be her to anyone other than Naomi. Ha, unlikely. I almost died of panic attacks just faking this to one person.

"I'm just scared," I cry. "Scared because I don't have the confidence to speak to her myself and besides she hardly wants to speak to me anyway so I thought it'd be easier as you. _Everyone _loves you." I'm talking so quickly, every word rushing out as if they're all racing to be heard first. My tears come faster now in the privacy of our room and I'm surprised if my sister can even comprehend what I'm saying.

"What would be easier? Em, she's just a girl, I know you've always admired her or whatever, I can tell, but she is just one person, she's not famous, not royalty and not your fucking master!" Yeah she is, she's famous to me, I view her almost as a celebrity, the way my tongue gets tied and the words stutter out that is. Just seeing her is the highlight of my day, nobody else makes my heart react that way and it's addictive. The only way I can describe how I feel about Naomi is by using the situation of an addicted smoker. Naomi is like my cigarette, the rush I get from being around her is so much more than anybody else. The more I see her, the more I want her, and everybody else is just like a Nicotine patch, getting me through, trying to withstand the craving feelings, but never as deeply satisfying as Miss Campbell herself.

But I can't talk to her like I can talk to Katie. It makes me feel sad that Katie just thinks I'm admiring her too, not that I like her. Like her a lot. Love her? No, that's too stronger word isn't it? I know my twin would hate the idea that I like girls, and even though we're supposed to be close I just can't do that to her. Not over a girl who isn't even mine, who doesn't even like me back; it isn't worth it. I haven't had a proper conversation with Naomi as myself, ever. Just embarrassing sentences which don't come out right and awkward silences.

"Yeah, I guess I understand." No I don't. It's you that doesn't understand me, Katie.

She signals to me for a hug, something which we never really do anymore unless we can tell the other has been crying and is visibly upset. I sigh and accept it, walking over to her allowing her to wrap her arms around me, just wishing they were someone else's'.

"Gonna be fine, just ignore her kay? If she says anythin' to you, I'll remind her of the kind of sister you have. Remind her of the fact OUR dad is an athletic, tough guy and we have his genes right? No one hurts us." I nod and we both let go of each other. Katie climbs into bed and shuts off her light, as I do the same. We wish each other goodnight, even though I know I'm probably not going to sleep tonight.

Listening to the sound of Katie snoring, I go over and over that night. From arriving, did Naomi know then? Did she just play along with me, trying to hurt me and punish me for what I did? The way she looked at me looked genuine, but then what do I know about the looks she gives? I wish so much I knew what was going on inside her head, her heart. Fuck. I remember the item in my bag. _Naomi's diary_. I feel the butterflies form in my stomach instantly and sit up straight in bed. Should I? shouldn't I? What do I have to loose, if it's anything negative about me, well, I don't need a diary to confirm those opinions. Her eyes told me enough of the hate and disappointment she feels for me tonight. I slip out of bed trying to be as quiet as possible not to wake my sister, and tread towards my bag by the door. Rummaging inside I feel the smooth texture of a book and pull it out, walking back to my bed as I clutch the diary to my chest. The anticipation which fills my body is extreme and using my phone as a source of light, ignoring the fact I have a message. Whoever that is can wait. I shine it down at the book and flick through the pages until I see my name, written in bold black writing. "Emily." It is just like diary extracts, dates, times and places, and my mouth opens in disbelief at some of the things she's written. About, me..

"_Saw Emily today. She was looking rather beautiful." – Friday 11__th__ June 2009._

"_Emily smiled at me today, I didn't reciprocate. Wish I had though." – Wednesday 23__rd__ June 2009._

"_College is over for the summer, but I can't stop thinking about her :(" Sunday 8__th__ August 2009._

"_Went to town and saw Emily in the bookshop, looked as gorgeous as ever..." Sunday 29__th__ August 2009._

What the fuck? I can't help but smile at what she's written, I blink several times checking that I'm on the page which is meant to be about me and it is, she's written these things about _me. _Something has been scribbled out at the bottom of the page. Scribbled out so much that the pen nib must have almost gone through the paper. I squint more and lean closer to the page, trying to make out what has been written.

_I love her. ?_

**Hope you enjoyed it, working on the next chapter now so should be up soon or tomorrow at the latest! Let me know what you think if you have a minute to spare because reviews are inspiring as always :) Suggestions welcome too. Thank you! B. xx**


	9. Chapter 9 Progress

**Hope this chapter pleases most of you :) B.**

Emily's POV.

"_**Emily, meet me in the toilets by the Art Block tomorrow at lunch, 1pm. No one goes there. We really need to talk. Naomi."**_

I'm on the way to college alone this morning with a spring in my step. I haven't forgotten the disaster of last night, but what shines through more clearly are the heartfelt messages in that diary. She loves me? I don't care that there was a question mark after those three words; the fact she's even considering it gives me raging butterflies. Also the last thing I read before I went to sleep was a text from the beautiful blonde herself. To me. Really to me this time. She wants to talk and I am determined that it's going to go better than any other time previously. I don't care if Naomi turns me away one thousand times; I'm going to speak to her, to apologise to try to make her understand that I only did it because I care, because I feel for her. Maybe she'll admit everything she wrote in her diary too. Checking my bag I make sure I have this because I want to give it back, I know Naomi will be displeased that I've taken it from her but if anything is going to work between us in the future I need to be honest from now. That includes her too, I hope.

Today I've made a real effort with my appearance. My hair is washed, straightened, and mirror - like shining if I do say so myself. I'm wearing a blue and white checked shirt, buttoned up at the front with a pair of black leggings, and a bag, my own today, which is bright yellow. Definitely not looking like Katie today and I hope this will please a certain someone. Once I get to college I take my normal seat next to Pandora, anxiously waiting for the clock to reach 9am and fiddling with my nails. Naomi is _always _in at 9am. The time ticks by and with every second I feel myself become more nervous, will she look at me? Will she avoid me until later? Will she even regret asking to talk? It's only after I stop questioning things that I realise it's now five past nine and there's no sign. Nothing.

We register for class in tutor and then go off to our lessons but I can't concentrate. I'm sat in English and all I can think of is Naomi. Being alone with her today, as myself, having the first, _real_, conversation with her in years. Well ever, really, if she shows up. She must be as nervous as I am; there's nothing simple about our relationship and I wonder if I'll be able to control myself. I'll probably blush like a lobster, get butterflies reproducing inside me and my heart almost humming inside me. I feel a smile form on my lips as I think up of all the possible scenarios which could occur later. What if we open up, confide our feelings to each other and actually realise there could be something between us? Something rather amazing.

"Emily. Emily. EMILY."

I snap out of my daydreams in a flash. My English teacher is glaring at me and every single head in the class has turned to face me. Woops. I should really ban Naomi from my head in class...

* * *

Opening the door to the toilets I crane my head nervously around every corner, checking every cubicle door is open. No sign of her yet, but then again I am early. It's 12:56 and I wanted to get adjusted here before Naomi turns up. I didn't want her to get there before me and think I'm late or not wanting to show up. I check my appearance; looking slightly terrified but with a glow to my cheeks; I can't remember the last time I felt this alive, my eyes are shining, my heart is beating quickly and every inch of my body is warm.

A girl who I don't know walks into the toilet, sending me into a little panic attack as I think it's the blonde who I'm waiting for. Pretending to be adjusting my hair in the mirror, it looks crazy that I'm just stood in here, not even waiting for anybody to come out of a cubicle because all the others are empty. Once she's left I check the time again and it's dead on 1pm now. Please turn up, please don't let me down.

The door opens and my heart stops. Naomi enters slowly looking at me awkwardly, but not angrily. She looks beautiful as always, a black blazer, white top underneath and tight blue skinny jeans which compliment her figure incredibly. Her bag is slung over her shoulder and she just looks so naturally gorgeous. We stand there nervously for a moment, looking at the floor and back at each other until I decide it's only fair I make the first move and clear my throat.

"Hello. Thank you for coming, I thought you weren't gonna 'cause you weren't here at registration..." I cringe at the sound of my voice. It's shaky as always. I actually sound scared but what did I expect? It's her. She does scare me because she has the power to.

Naomi sounds worried too as she answers me. It's as if she's trying to be cool and emotionless but it just shines through.

" It's fine and I was held up this morning. Woke up late. Not much sleep. I.. I felt bad for how we parted last night. I didn't mean to get s..so angry. It was just such a shock and I didn't know how to react but I never meant to Emily I.. I'm... I guess I'm trying to say that..."

She's scared too. My heart throbs for her and I interrupt by blurting out "I'm so sorry Naomi."

She stops talking and looks at me, I see a small smile form on the corners of her lips and she nods. Is that a sign of forgiveness? Already? From the rock hard heart of Naomi Campbell! She looks up quickly if she's trying to hear something but can't quite make it out. And then I do too. I hear the voice of my sister Katie at high pitch coming towards the toilets at fast speed with a group of her other bitchy friends in tow.

"I thought you said no one came to these!" I huskily whisper in a panic. I don't want Katie to see us together because she'll ruin it for us both, she'll stop this conversation, she'll probably even hurt Naomi for making me so upset even though it's not her fault and I'm not ready for this discussion to end. It's hardly even begun. Fucking typical, Katie. Always controlling what I do.

Naomi says nothing but must be thinking the same as I am, pushes me into a cubicle, the one furthest from the mirror, and comes inside locking the door behind us. I can hear my heart thudding in my ears, we have never been this close in our entire lives and I pay attention to the sound of her breathing next to me. She's breathing quickly, as if she's trying to catch her breath even though she hasn't done anything physically straining. This would be bliss if it wasn't for the knowledge that my sister is right outside, probably checking out her appearance in the toilet mirrors; god knows how long that will take. I hope she doesn't turn and notice that this door has remained closed for such a long time; then again, Katie rarely notices anything but herself. We both anxiously listen to the sound of her rambling on about nothing, about boys, makeup, clothes and girls she doesn't like and I'm waiting for me or Naomi to be brought up into the topic of conversation but thankfully, Katie remains loyal to me saying nothing. Time ticks by so slowly, it must have only been about 6 to 7 minutes but it feels like hours. Naomi is looking through the crack in the toilet door trying to see if Katie is anywhere near done, and I take this opportunity to stare at her. Everything is perfect. Her smooth flawless cheeks, her blue, sapphire like eyes blinking every so often, the way her hair falls down her face, complimenting her in every single way. The way she is biting her lip from concentrating on looking out of the crack of the toilet door, and just admiring her be so focused in this way makes me feel all warm inside. I want to kiss her, so much it scares me.

At that very moment of thought, Naomi turns her head and I jump, stepping back in fear that she will have noticed me staring for so long, how I've been zoning out of all other things around us.

"They've gone", she says quietly.

We look at each other for a while, wondering whether we are going to leave this small enclosed area, and I stare into her eyes, seeing that same vulnerability as I did before in her room on the bed. We don't look away even though I can tell the heat has rushed to my cheeks and I'm blushing like crazy. Naomi steps closer to me and I'm aware that I've stopped breathing as she leans in and whispers: "I guess what I was trying to say out there was... I'm the sorry one. Sorry for all these years", before pressing her lips softly to my own. Our very first kiss.

**Let me know what you think if you have a spare moment. (:**


	10. Chapter 10 Hope

Emily's Pov.

I'm pressed against the cubicle wall with Naomi's arms either side of me, trapping me, although I'm ever so willing to be trapped. Her lips leave my tingling ones and I open my eyes to watch her do the same, a small smile is playing on her lips and I can't help but reciprocate it, stunned at what's just happened. She just kissed me, and I was expecting a slap.

"Can we go somewhere else?" she whispers, sounding breathless, shocked at herself. I find it hard to remember the cold, heartless Naomi I once knew when she sounds like that. It's as if every bad, mean thing she's ever done to me or anyone else is just wiped from my memory; all I see now is someone vulnerable, someone who wants me like I want them. And believe me I want her.

"Where do you want to go?" I ask huskily, trying to breathe steadily. I'm still very aware of how close we are and it's hard not to just lean in for another kiss. I know she liked it. Anywhere would be fine, I'd go anywhere just to be with her but I know Naomi wants more privacy than in a girl's loo.

I watch her step away from me and pick up her bag from the floor, her hands are shaking as she tries opening the door slowly and I follow her out of the cubicle, still waiting for my answer.

"Come back to mine, mum's out." I see a look in her eyes at these words and have no problem in finding my own response.

I nod. "Okay, let's go, quick in case Katie comes back, you know how vain she is."We smile, abandoning our pointless education and fuck going to class, both of us have much more important things to do.

* * *

It's strange how things change so quickly. One moment you have no hope, feel as though things will never get better and then all of a sudden something happens and you're on top of the world. As if nothing could get any _more _better than it already is. That's how I feel, stepping into Naomi's house for the third time this week although this time, I'm me and she knows it, she's invited me here. Smiling to myself at this thought I follow Naomi to her bedroom and stand awkwardly by her door. I'm about to reach into my bag to give her diary back and prepare myself for a little telling off, but Naomi clears her throat so I hold back.

"Emily... I don't know what it is about you but I don't want to stay away any longer. I cant.. stand it. I don't care what you did, I'm sure if I had a twin.. I'd have done the same. 'Cause that's how much I want to be around you too. There, I said it." She blushes at her quiet words and it makes my stomach swirl around, so adorable. I smile at her showing her it's okay, that she doesn't need to be embarrassed to me because it is only me, anything she does I will love, nothing would make me run away. Nothing. I'll give her diary back another time, maybe I won't even tell her I've got it and will just slip it inside the drawer. That'd be simpler, simpler is good for now.

"I know, Naomi but I am sorry and I feel the same, I have done for.. a long time." For so long have I wanted to tell her that.

We stare at each other blushing a little together and I walk closer to Naomi opening my arms with a great deal of anticipation whether she'll accept this hug, our first hug. She looks in my eyes and steps closer to me too, opening her arms to wrap around my waist, entwining them as I put my arms around her neck, locking them there never ever wanting to let go. She smells absolutely amazing, I can't get enough. I wonder for an alarmed moment if she can actually tell I'm sniffing her, but I don't think she can; even if she could, fuck it, she should take it as a compliment. We stay like this, just for a bit, until my stomach has to ruin the moment and rumbles. Fuck sake! I didn't eat any breakfast, or lunch in fact, because I was too nervous and excited about today so it is my own fault but still, ever so annoying. I feel Naomi giggle and pulls away to look at me, her eyebrow raised with a funny expression on her face.

"Hungry Emily?" she smirks. How can she be so appealing when she makes fun of me, yet I find it so humorous at my own expense?

"Yeah, erm, guess I am." I laugh back. She grins at me and tilts her head to one side coyly.

"Want lunch?" I'm stunned. Naomi Campbell is offering me lunch. Yesss! Just be cool Emily.

"Please, but don't poison me though, I do value my life." Two can play at the sarcastic game here, I think smugly watching her expression.

"Cheeky. C'mon midget" she gestures towards the door.

"Oi, I'm not that small! Just 'cause we've hugged and you've noticed, doesn't mean you can take the piss out of my height!" I'm grinning ear to ear though, I don't care if Naomi took the piss out of me for an entire lifetime; we're laughing, we're joking and its perfect. I push her jokingly but she's stronger than me and shoves me onto her bed, both of us laughing as she sits on me, literally squashing me. I can't believe this, one moment I was terrified of her, the next I'm lying, then I'm devastated and now, it's as if we've been so close like this forever. She's fun, really really fun. I pull her down to lie next to me and look at her my stomach churning.

"Actually Naomi. I'm not really that hungry." It's true. My stomach may have rumbled but I don't feel the need to eat, the adrenaline from being around her is going to be enough to get me by. How strange.

"That's okay, I didn't wanna cook for you anyway" she says with a glint in her eye and winks. She slowly hesitantly puts her hand on my cheek and continues looking at me, moving her face closer awfully slowly until there is no gap between our lips anymore and we're kissing. Kissing not like before but properly, with actual space, privacy and both of our walls completely down; nothing has felt better than this. I feel like I can do anything. With increased confidence I bring both my hands up to her neck and hold her face close to mine so there's no risk of her breaking away; we're in our own world, eyes closed, sharing the same oxygen and memorising each other's features, taste and smell. Forgetting the past, forgetting our fight, forgetting Katie, forgetting my family and forgetting the fact we will face prejudice around every corner for this. Forgetting.. everything.

* * *

**Hope this didn't dissapoint (: Next chapter up soon, suggestions welcome towards anyway you want this story to go, although I do have a vague idea. Thank you for all reviews, they are appreciated as always! :) Bx**


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